Developing healthy self-esteem is not the same for everyone. Pop self-help gurus would have us believe that if we all focus on success, positivity and manifesting what we want we would all be blissfully happy, make millions of dollars and never be bothered by a problem again.
Sounds amazing right? Yeah, let me know how that works out for you.
The thing is, when you study personality theories like the Enneagram model, you start to see very clearly that there are 9 very distinct and valid ways of viewing the world. Those viewpoints shape not only how we interact with other people but how we talk to ourselves.
If you think of the personality/ego as an operating system for a computer (which is the brain), it should give you an idea on how important it is to understand how the OS works...The soul or spirit would be like the power source.
We must approach self-esteem in a way that gets around our major distortion. Or to continue our computer motif, we need to approach self esteem in language that our dominant OS can understand. If we put a program (such as a message) into our OS that it doesn't understand it will either a.) not work or b.) damage the system.
Self image distortions are like OS malware, and need the appropriate programming in order to eliminate language that is causing the malfunctioning.
Some personality types may be relatively unaffected by the packaged "success, positivity, manifesting" approach. We need to be aware of the messages that we are sending ourselves that are underming our self esteem as well as how to re-frame that message that will be more palatable to our dominant operating system.
We all pick up little malware bits here and there that can muddy up our positive ego messages, unless you had a 100% happy, drama and trauma free life, there will be a little bit of restructuring that needs to be done on our personalities.
Below are the 9 basic Operating System messages for the 9 Enneagram Types. I've included the basic message, the malware message and the cleaned-up message. The basic message is the basic OS marhcing orders for the type, the malware message is the ego distortion, which usually includes messages about other people, and the cleaned-up message is the healthy expression of the type.
If you have questions about your Enneagram type feel free to contact us and we'll help you figure it out. You could use the malware free message as a daily affirmation or come up with something similar in your own words that encompasses the same idea.
Type One-The Ethical Perfectionist
Basic OS: I am conscientious, ethical and good. I want to be right.
Malware message: I am a bad person so I must do everything perfectly. Other people are incompetent and wrong.
Malware free: I am good and right as I am and everything is perfect as it is. It's okay to make mistakes.
Type Two-The Helpful Supporter
Basic OS: I am helpful, supportive and nice. I want to help.
Malware message: I know what other people need and I always give it to them. Other people don't appreciate me.
Malware free: I don't have to help people to be loved. It's okay to give to myself.
Type Three-The Successful Achiever
Basic OS: I am driven, successful and motivated. I want to win.
Malware message: I must live up to my image. If I don't win I'm worthless, other people don't know how important I really am.
Malware free: I am worthy without doing anything. It's okay to to relax and be myself.
Type Four-The Intuitive Romantic
Basic OS: I am intuitive, creative and sensitive. I want to be unique.
Malware message: I am both special and flawed. I never get what I want. Other people have something I don't or can't get.
Malware free: I am special and unique like everyone else. It's okay to be happy and contented.
Type Five-The Investigative Thinker
Basic OS: I am perceptive, knowledgeable and studious. I want to be left alone.
Malware message: I am an expert and highly intelligent. Other people are too emotional, illogical and over-involved.
Malware free: I know everything I need to know right now. It's okay to let other people affect me.
Type Six-The Loyal Skeptic
Basic OS: I am loyal, responsible and do what I'm supposed to do. I want to be sure.
Malware message: I do what I'm supposed to do and other people don't. I can't trust other people because ultimately no one is safe.
Malware free: The world is a safe place and I can trust myself to know what needs to be done. It's okay to listen to my own guidance because I know what's best for me.
Type Seven-The Excited Adventurer
Basic OS: I am joyful, entertaining and upbeat. I want to have fun.
Malware message: I have to plan my next adventure or the joy will stop. Other people will keep me from having fun and bring me down.
Malware free: I can be present in what's happening now without planning what's next. It's okay to let in negative emotions, they won't stay forever.
Type Eight-The Powerful Protector
Basic OS: I am strong, assertive and protective. I want to be in control.
Malware message: I am a force to be reckoned with and must protect my boundaries. Other people will take advantage of me and are weak.
Malware free: I can be sensitive without being weak. It's okay to be vulnerable and let my guard down.
Type Nine-The Peaceful Mediator
Basic OS: I am peaceful, agreeable and no-drama. I want to be uncomplicated.
Malware message: I don't have an ego and can ignore my own needs. Other people are too egotistical and concerned with themselves.
Malware free: I am awake and present to my own self. It's okay to voice my opinion and preferences.